On Wednesday, I had the opportunity to spend the morning with a group of inspirational people at an event focused on building people, communities, and our entire state.
Our opening speaker was Cynthia Gambill of Saprea—a non-profit that exists to liberate individuals and society from child sexual abuse and its lasting impacts. (Saprea hosted the event, which took place at their beautiful building. Thank you for that!) Among other things, Cynthia shared part of her journey in coming to a place of being able to genuinely understand others instead of being judgmental.
David Thorne, the organizer of the event and CEO of Construction Management Pros, shared a message that included insights on nurturing real relationships.
I spoke next.
As I pondered what I had heard from Cynthia and David, I decided to change the message I intended to share to align with their messages more closely and shine a light on a concept that, while not specifically identified by most of us, is innate in many people. That concept:
When we communicate with an outside-in perspective instead of an inside-out perception, we understand people in a way that enhances their journeys—and ours.
Here’s what I mean by that…
Many individuals and organizations essentially take a position that says, “Here’s what I am (or we are) about. If you like what you see and want to align, come on in!”
Accelerating Connection
While inviting people to align with us isn’t all bad—taking a position and making it clear has its benefits—it requires others to see something in us that motivates them to act in order to create a connection. That’s two steps we impose on others if they want to connect with us. This severely limits our connection opportunities. We’re asking others to leave their worlds and step into ours. We make ourselves the central point instead of the other party. This is the inside-out approach of attempting to connect—the method used by most people and organizations.
By contrast, when we take an outside-in approach to connection, we actively look for opportunities to understand others and, more importantly, help them understand themselves, their journeys, their visions and dreams, and the resources available to them to transform those visions and dreams into reality. We become facilitators for their success based on their vision.
This purposeful approach instantly creates a reason for others to want to connect with us. That reason: We are all about them. People naturally want to be with people who see them—people whose actions prove they are paying attention and genuinely care.
Following Through
When we follow up our sincere use of the outside-in approach with actions that affirm our genuine interest in helping others achieve their desired outcomes and realize their dreams, we are on the path to establishing ourselves with them as trusted advocates. This opens up a new level of opportunities for deeper connection as we authentically stay in their worlds.
Again, this comes naturally to some people. Others, not so much. I was a member of the latter group for far too many years.
‘What’ vs. ‘How’
Applying this outside-in concept is what we can do to accelerate human connection. But how do we do it?
That’s where The Art of Human Connection and VEVA come in. The principles, practices, and tools found in these frameworks provide guidance on adopting the outside-in approach (and much more) to nurture clearer communication, faster connections, and stronger, sustainable relationships at our workplaces, with clients and prospects, at home, and in our communities.
You can discover more in other articles here in this UNSTOPPABLE CULTURE publication. If you want quicker, deeper insights, I welcome a personal connection with you to answer your questions or explore possibilities that are on your mind. You can reach me HERE.
Thanks for stopping by! If we don’t already know each other, I look forward to meeting you.
-Bryan Waldon Pope
Creator, UNSTOPPABLE CULTURE